Paging Princess Ivanka

By Mickey Friedman
April 28, 2017

Thanks to Prince Eric of Trumpovia and the United Kingdom’s Telegraph, we know Princess Ivanka, she of the large heart, prevailed upon King Donald to almost, but not quite, shed tears for the poisoned children of Syria.

Beside King Abdullah of Jordan in the Royal Garden of Roses, the King explained: “It crossed a lot of lines for me. When you kill innocent children, innocent babies — babies, little babies — with a chemical gas that is so lethal — people were shocked to hear what gas it was — that crosses many, many lines, beyond a red line.”

Prince Eric confirmed “President Trump’s decision to bomb a Syrian airbase to punish President Bashar al-Assad for a nerve gas attack last week was influenced by the reaction of his sister Ivanka, who said she was ‘heartbroken and outraged’ by the atrocity.”

Outraged and heartbroken Ivanka, Princess of the Realm and Royal Purveyor of Trinkets, prevailed upon her father to avenge the poisoned children. But it was a measured vengeance. For King Donald first warned the Russians, who warned the Syrian nerve gas attackers, then launched a multimillion dollar display of Tomahawk missiles that did momentary damage to some Syrian planes which the Russians will soon replace. Missiles for the kids of Syria. Who have died like flies before and will die like flies after. Save The Children reveals: “two-thirds of children are said to have lost a loved one, or had their house bombed or shelled, or suffered war-related injuries.”

But the pundits tell us, it was, for puffed up and proud Americans, an indication of American strength and resolve. Because The King changed his mind and sent a message to the butcher.

The TV talkers reminded us of the horrors of chemical warfare, though forgot to mention the incendiary napalm, Agent Orange and white phosphorus we dropped on the Vietnamese, Cambodians and Iraqis. The weapons that killed millions and still haunt the dreams of our veterans. And who mentioned Hiroshima and Nagasaki?

It is once again time to highlight the sins of others, while neglecting ours. Providing yet another opportunity for the hapless Sean Spicer, royal spokesperson of PR, to boldly march into the ever widening verbal quicksand of Trumpovia: to celebrate Passover, the ancient Jewish exodus from Egypt, by assuring us that Syria’s Bashar-al-Assad of Syria had outdone Adolf Hitler.

Mr. Spicer said. “You know, you had someone as despicable as Hitler who didn’t even sink to using chemical weapons.” A compassionate member of the press suggested to Spicer of PR that he might correct the record, but he was determined to make matters worse: “I think when you come to sarin gas, there was no — he was not using the gas on his own people the same way that Ashad [sic] is doing … There was not, in the, he brought them into the Holocaust centers, I understand that. But I’m saying, in the way that Assad used them where he went into towns, dropped them down to innocent—into the middle of towns …”

In Trumpovia, concentration camps become Holocaust centers. And the ovens and millions of the dead … well Hitler wasn’t using gas on his own people maybe because in Spicer’s mind, well I’m afraid to spend more than a minute in his mind …

In Trumpovia, there is no real past to be spoken of, or remembered. And warning the enemy then bombing some planes magically undoes years of not caring about the millions of children exposed every day to war.

A short time ago, Donald J. Trump was merely one of many commoners dreaming of jousting with Hillary of Clinton, she of the promised Queendom. It was February, 2016 in Salem, NH when a man asked him about Syrian refugee children. Asked Mr. Trump if he could: “look children aged five, eight, ten, in the face and tell them they can’t go to school here.”

The Telegraph tells us that Mr. Trump said: “I can look in their faces and say ‘You can’t come.’ I’ll look them in the face. Look, we don’t know where their parents come from. Their parents should always stay with them, that’s very important, but we don’t know where the parents come from, they have no documentation. They may be Isil, they may be Isil-related It could be a Trojan horse. If two per cent of those people are bad the trouble is unbelievable.”

So according to Mr. Trump, to make America Great Again, we can’t take care of the Syrian kids.

But King Donald’s budget for America cuts $200 million from the Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants and Children and the $1.2 billion 21st Century Community Learning Centers program which provides after school and summer programs for American kids.

Paging Princess Ivanka. Please remind King Dad to take care of innocent American children. Innocent American babies.


Mickey Friedman’s Berkshire-based I Ching mysteries, “Danger” and “Folly”, as well as his non-fiction “A Red Family” are available on

For more information:

Donald Trump’s action in Syria proves he is not in league with Putin, says his son Eric

Donald Trump: ‘I’ll look Syrian children in the face and say they can’t come’

“Invisible Wounds” – Save The Children WOUNDS FINAL 020317.PDF

Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump: Pillars of Family-Driven West Wing

“Paging Princess Ivanka” was first published in the April 20, 2017 edition of The Berkshire Record.

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