March 31, 2020
By Mickey Friedman
Me and Julio would have bet and lost our lunch money if anyone in the playground said that Donald The Trump would someday become The King of Corona. That the U.S. of A. would be depending on him to do the right thing. To keep us alive.
Fred The Trump’s boy. FredTheT who owned the housing project and didn’t like black people, Julio’s people, poor people. DTheT, a bully, and not the brightest bulb. He hated Julio, calling him Julie-ohhh. But whenever Julio had too much of the mocking, DTheT would run as fast as he could to FredTheT’s super, Rosie’s Papa. Who, if he wanted to keep his job, had no choice but protect him. And everyone knew DTheT had a wicked crush on Rosie who we called the Queen of Corona.
Looking back, Me and Julio would have been better off with social distancing than playing three-on-three basketball. Because neither of us knew what was going to happen when we playfully went to kiss Rosie on the cheek after she hit the winning jump shot.
Rosie blushed and smiled. But crazy jealous DTheT went running to Rosie’s Papa and Mama, who worked the nightshift at Corona Pajama. Who knows what DTheT told them, but Mama Pajama freaked, and rolled out of bed. Then ran to the police station. And Rosie’s Papa, more pissed than freaked, started his investigation.
Paul Simon sang about it:
“It’s against the law, it was against the law
What the Mama heard, it was against the law
Mama looked down and spit on the ground
Every time my name gets mentioned
The papa say, “Oy, if I get that boy
I’m gonna stick him in the house of detention”
I went home, thinking Goodbye to Rosie, the Queen of Corona. Then they come to take me away. Lucky for me, the press let the story leak. Lucky for me the radical priest come to get me released. When we was all on the cover of Newsweek
Paul Simon, he sung:
“I’m on my way, I’m takin’ my time
But I don’t know where
Goodbye to Rosie, the Queen of Corona
See you, me and Julio down by the schoolyard”
Hopefully you know a radical priest in case you end up in the house of detention on trumped up charges.
I haven’t seen Rosie since the schoolyard. Hopefully she’s OK and hasn’t come in contact with the Corona virus. As for you, me and Julio, we’re all dependent on DTheT. Because he’s the President.
The President who owns the corona virus. The King of Corona.
DTheT could always talk. As for COVID-19, on January 22, 2020, CNBC asked: “the CDC — has identified a case of corona virus in Washington state … And are there worries about a pandemic at this point?
DtheT: “No. Not at all. And — we’re — we have it totally under control. It’s one person coming in from China, and we have it under control. It’s — going to be just fine.”
February 19: “I think it’s going to work out fine … I think when we get into April, in the warmer weather, that has a very negative effect on that and that type of a virus.”
February 24: “The Corona virus is very much under control in the USA,” Trump tweeted. “Stock Market starting to look very good to me!”
March 4: “I closed the borders to China. And that’s why we have a very small number of people that we have to really worry about … And we’re doing great … And this will go, and this will pass, and working on vaccines right now …”
As for the World Health Organization’s mortality rate: “I think the 3.4 percent is really a false number. Now, this is just my hunch, and — but based on a lot of conversations with a lot of people that do this.”
March 5, about testing kits: “as soon as we found out that it was a problem, we did it.” About the economy: “So, it’s going to all work out. Everybody has to be calm. It’s all going to work out.”
March 6 “Anybody that wants a test can get a test … Doctor [Anthony] Fauci said earlier this week that the lag in testing was, in fact, ‘a failing.’ Do you take responsibility for that?”
President Trump: “No, I don’t take responsibility at all, because we were given a set of circumstances and we were given rules, regulations, and specifications from a different time.”
March 19, asked about ordering companies to make ventilators Trump said. “The Federal government is not supposed to be out there buying vast amounts of items and then shipping. You know, we’re not a shipping clerk.”
It was DTheT who on November 8, 2013 criticized another president: “Leadership: Whatever happens, you’re responsible. If it doesn’t happen you’re responsible.”
Talk about your bad dreams.
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“The King of Corona” was first published in the March 26, 2020 issue of The Berkshire Record.