The Bear on The Hill

By Mickey Friedman
May 13, 2014

I’ve got mice. A friend’s got rats. Congressman Bill Shein just lost a duck to a fox.

Mice, rats, tigers, lions, and bears. Everywhere it’s war.

Congressman Bill, the most nonviolent of men, had to restrain himself when I suggested sympathy for the fox. He’s still haunted by his loss.

I didn’t mean to be insensitive. But I’ve just read Elizabeth Kolbert’s extraordinary, “The Sixth Extinction.” And I know when it comes to the big scorecard in the sky, the human race is winning big-time when it comes to killing all things bright and beautiful, large and small. Habitats shrivel; the earth, the seas grow ever more inhospitable.

It will take time to erase the image of Kolbert and friends scrunching the bones of dead bats as they explore the caves of New York.

Yet even while we extinguish species after species – scarcely keeping track – we are nevertheless vulnerable to, and legitimately afraid of, the rogue elephant, the psychopathic pit-bull, the enraged alligator.

Here at home, The Bear prefers The Hill. Appreciative of the best sunflower seeds, and the highest quality refuse.

And so The Hill – the best neighborhood in The Best Small Town in America – is abuzz with bear-talk. I know because my immensely successful and highly influential friend, a longtime Hiller, sends me his copy of TheHillGB newsfeed.

He’s begged me to weigh in on the side of the outnumbered Black Bear. “You’re a friend of the underdog,” he said. “I’d write something but I live on The Hill … You, on the other hand, sooner or later manage to insult and alienate just about everyone. You have nothing to lose.”

So here goes.

On The Hill, there are real-time bear alerts. The Bear was seen at Prospect and Castle, having brazenly stolen a birdfeeder from a honey locust tree. Prompting poster, who felt bad for both The Bear and the birds who’ve grown fond of store-bought birdfeed, to urge fellow Hillers to take in their feeders come nightfall.

On Oak Street, The Bear made his way through a fence to help himself to yet some more bird seed. By pulling the entire feeder down to the ground.

Which prompted another Oaker to remember the three feeders downed last year.

At which point the bear-talk took a turn for the worse. Someone heard of a woman from Route 23 who had a bear open her kitchen door and raid the refrigerator.

Then this heart-stopping account from the Alford town website: “A bear that shows no fear of humans or dogs maimed and killed the dog of homeowners neighboring Fairview Commons on Christian Hill Road in Great Barrington, MA some time during the week of April 20th 2014. Be extremely alert if you walk or ride bicycle, or if you walk with pets or children on Christian Hill Road.”

Then someone thought they saw a bobcat.

I know from nightmares. I still see sharks. And won’t swim in the sea.

But things got worse when a Hiller shared the link to “Black Bear Mauls Florida Woman, Drags Her Out of Garage – The hunt is on today for a black bear who mauled a woman at her home in an upscale central Florida neighborhood, leaving her with injuries to her face, legs and torso … She walked to the patio area where there were five bears eating trash that they had pulled out of the garage, her husband said.

“‘The bear got up on [its] hind legs and started to maul her, opened its jaws and put her head in the mouth and dragged her towards the woods … Somehow she was able to pull herself out.’”

Black bear. Gated community. Florida. I Googled several versions. One bear. Many bears. With and without Jesus. Would you be surprised to learn the story ended with no fair trial and six dead bears?

I’ve had two bear encounters. I was amazed at how fast the bears moved. I have no desire to make light of what can be a very explosive, dangerous situation.

But in the spirit of can’t we just get along: Bear attacks are extremely rare and happen mostly when bear cubs are threatened. While there are 300,000 black bears in the U.S., there have only been 45 recorded bear-caused human deaths since 1900. In the 140+ years of Yellowstone, seven people were killed by bears. Five humans died from lightning.

As for the other side of the story, a Canadian Parks study found human activity kills more than 20 bears a year. Another study found that most adult bears in Minnesota die from human related causes. Killed by cars or shot.

Once our neighborhoods were theirs. And because berries and nuts make up 85% of their diet, you can see why they might confuse your birdfeeder for the Big Y.

I hope this story doesn’t end badly for The Bear on The Hill.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Some links:


http://abcnews.go.com/US/urgent-hunt-black-bear-mauled-woman-garage/story?id=23309124

http://www.courant.com/news/nation-world/os-bear-attack-victim-orlando-20140414,0,5637275.story

http://www.nps.gov/grsm/naturescience/black-bears.htm

http://www.defenders.org/black-bear/basic-facts

http://www.nps.gov/yell/naturescience/injuries.htm